Photographic Five #10: Why Long Lenses Rule

5 Ways a Very Long Lens Will Improve Your Photography

* You can stand further away from your subject, so they don’t have to smell the stench of your flop sweat.

* The natural compression of a lens racked out to 300mm will hide the flaws of your subject’s bulbous nose.

* It gives a nature photographer a clear 20 foot head start when the pissed off bear comes after him.

* Nothing screams “professional” to a know-nothing dim bulb on the street than a ridiculously large lens.  Sure, you can pay $8000 to get shallow depth of field 50 feet away in low light, but the “civilian” on the street will just think, “Damn, that’s a big ass lens. He must be a professional. I bet his pictures look great.”  Just look at the idiot and say, “Yes. Yes, they do.”

* Since the large lens sticks out more, nobody in that poor third world country that NGO sent you to will notice the smaller “L” lens hidden in your lens bag.  They’ll just steal the camera on your shoulder.  And that’s what backups are for.

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